Friday, February 24, 2006

I've got a confession to make...

I've been in jail.
You heard me. Yes.. Incarcerated, behind bars, locked up..




I answer 'Yes' to the "Have you ever been convicted of a Criminal Offense? " question in a job application.

I didn't kill anybody, but I almost broke a man's skull in what should've been a harmless road rage incident. Somehow it didn't occur to me to just punch him in the face with my bare fist.


It was a bright and sunny Tuesday morning. Traffic was like mud. Vehicles oozed their way through one of the worst jams ever.

It was one of those minor accidents which happen as a result of incorrect driving practices by both parties. Immediately after the accident occurred, he stopped his car right in the middle of the road to inspect the damage. He remained totally unaffected by the numerous horns blaring away. The vehicles in front of him were not moving as yet, but they'd eventually move and his car would be in the way. The myriad honking sounds continued as he approached me.

Your mind begins to assess the possible outcomes instantly in the event of a confrontation. If there is a percieved threat, the body undergoes several changes to help you deal with it. There's increased breathing, heart rate and blood pressure. This enables oxygen rich blood flow to the limbs which in turn equips you to fight or to flee, depending on the situation at hand. And in my case, choosing to fight didn't require too much thought considering he was shorter than me, probably in his late 20s and looked like he was new to the city.

He wanted to know what I was trying to do back there without a hand signal or an indicator. I told him that the use of an indicator was unnecessary when everyone except him were travelling at 20km/h and his sudden urges to sprint forward every time the vehicle in front moved an inch, caused the accident. He responded with a loud explanation of how wrong I'd been and how doing so might have killed me. All this while, he kept pointing fingers at my face as he reconstructed the events for the motorists who were just tuning in. I wouldn't point fingers at my face if I were him.

Funny, the others on the road didn't have much to say, the honking seemed to die down too as some of them listened attentively to the details and began to take sides. They probably knew that they were not getting anywhere, might as well get to see a fight. Sure enough, they did.

It got louder. There was cursing. I only wish he didn't use that word.



I took a swing at his face with my helmet. I know its not going to work in my favor if I tell you that I thought he was gonna block it. A powerful blow to the head with a blunt object could be fatal in some cases. Epidural hematoma is the result of internal bleeding where blood collects in the area between the outer membrane of your brain and the insides of the skull. This in turn causes the brain to slowly compress and make room for the blood spill. Luckily, this couldn't have happened since the thick viscous fluid seemed to flow down the sides of his left cheek, through a major laceration above his eyebrow.

He fell face down on the road without much of a scream. The audience that watched the events unfold, comprised of two kinds of people: the 'I don't give a fuck if there's a dead man on the road-I can't be late to work' kind and the ones that agreed with the treatment meted out. There may have been a third kind, but you don't want to mess with a stranger after he just bludgeoned a guy who spoke too much and is still holding his weapon of choice.

For the sake of brevity, lets just say the assailant got the victim admitted into a hospital and covered for all of his medical expenses.

You don't get away with attempt to murder so easily but being related to the newly appointed Chief Minister does help. There is a pending criminal charge against me and it will remain in that state for a few years to come. It'll soon be long forgotten.

For now, it would really help if you stopped looking at me like that.










PS: This is my attempt at fiction. And for the record, with respect to confrontation, I can't send back soup.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Itsy bitsy teenie weenie...

If you came here looking for Maria Sharapova in a swimsuit, just go away!
I'm not going to compromise my creative integrity for pictures of scantily clad tennis players. I will not reduce my blog to the likes of a girly magazine.


But for the benefit of those of my fellow men unaware of world events, I will however point you in the direction where the material in question is available. Also, I'd like to add that in addition to 22 high resolution pictures, there's a two minute video - a behind the scenes look at the photoshoot.

And needless to say, it won't be as pretty a sight if your manager happens to walk by, while you're looking at the photographer's assistant earnestly pour a glass of water on Maria Sharapova cavorting in a pink polka-dot bikini.

Friday, February 17, 2006

ROMPER STOMPER(1992) - Australian cinema at its best
The DVD cover screams STUNNING and INTENSE. Romper Stomper is exactly that.
Russell Crowe(Hando) heads a team of neo nazi skinheads who are enraged at the influx of Asian immigrants into Australia. The story follows the grim events that unfold in the life of the gang members who get involved in a turf war with the immigrants. The movie is complete with disturbing scenes of hate crimes, graphic violence and sex.


Due to similarities in theme, comparisons with American History X are unavoidable. But it would be something tantamount to a hatecrime to compare Romper Stomper and American History X. (There are huge IMDb threads about it!)
AHX is polished, packaged and glossy, sometimes kind of sugarcoats the brutalities(there was room for a lot more). Edward Norton is brilliant as the protagonist in AHX. However, towards the latter part of the movie, he is depicted as undergoing drastic changes in his beliefs after a stint in prison. The reasons for his menacing skinhead character reforming are quite weak and frankly, very Hollywood. Somewhere the directors wussed out.


Romper Stomper is raw and a relatively more accurate portrayal of the ruthless skinheads without being too preachy. It is dark, ugly and in your face. The lowbudget feel and the camera work add to the realism. The authenticity in costumes and dialogues are startling, maybe something you can relate to in your rebellious days(if you were/are one!). The creators have done their homework a lot better than the AHX guys.




If there was a flaw, it would be that the some of the characters are not well developed. Not much is known about Hando. Not much is known about the origins of most of the other characters either. They're just thrust on screen leaving the viewer to imagine their past, which I think is good in a way too. It doesn't hamper your viewing experience but a little more history on the characters would've helped.

Russell Crowe gives one of the finest performances of his lifetime. Its a wonder how this movie went unnoticed because it ranks high up there with Gladiator, Beautiful Mind and Master&Commander when it comes to his acting abilities. If you're a Crowe fan, this is a must see! The actors who play Davey and Gabe give out powerful performances as well.






To sum it up, if you're not too much of a prude to handle the theme, you won't be disappointed. You will emerge shocked, disturbed and sickened.



Verdict: Must watch.

Monday, February 13, 2006

The Google Monster cometh..





http://www.idorosen.com:80/mirrors/robinsloan.com/epic/ols-mattrobin-flash.swf

An old link, but interesting nevertheless.
This is an 8MB flash file which talks about how Google is going to take over all kinds of media. It predicts the doom of Microsoft, Operating systems, Online Shopping sites and The New York Times.

???? !!!

Personally, I think this is a perfect example of Googlemania gone overboard. You're not going use a GoogleOS, GPhone or a GPod or GPal in the next 5 years. I'd love to be proved wrong. Google and its toys do fascinate me, but lets not get carried away.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Naan illai en vasam..

10.30am, Undisclosed office complex, a slightly uncomfortable cubicle.

I was making constructive use of the excessive free time at office listening to music, drinking coffee and browsing. I was reading a news article about the India-Pakistan matches when I found myself checking Winamp to see what song was playing.

"Chellame Idhu Irava Pagala.." from Kalaba Kadhalan

A wonderful duet by Karthik and Sunitha Sarathy. Do you remember Sunitha? Let me refresh your memory.

"Hey.. Goodbye Nanba.." Thats her.
[She's on "Yakkai Thiri.. (Fanaa)" also]

In ""Chellame Idhu Irava Pagala..", Sunitha emotes so well in her voice , she almost outshines Kartik. Listening to her sing on my headphones takes me away to a faraway place.
Women with husky voices always do that to me, but Sunitha's in a whole new league.

Just listen to this small clip.

You're probably thinking 'Nice voice, her Tamil is good'.

But you haven't heard anything until you've heard this.
Its a song from the movie "Kisna" called My Wish Comes True. A heartwarming track sung beautifully.

Wait, there's more.
ARRahman composed music for a Chinese film called "Warriors of Heaven and Earth". Sunitha is featured in the soundtrack on the song Warriors In Peace (English Version). I couldn't find the link to the full song, you're gonna have to make do with the 30 second demo from Amazon.

Too soft for you?

Listen to this one from Hollywood Bollywood. The track is If The Shoe Fits.

Ain't she adorable !!

Here's an excerpt from her interview to Femina(Reproduced without permission!).

"I have no formal training in music. I come from a musical background... my talent is the Lord's gift to me. I have never wanted to get voice trained either as I feel that certain characteristics in the voice could be lost by specialised training. And I never was the type to get pinned down by rules and classes... I was busy playing in the dirt and climbing trees.

A lot of my film work has been with Rahman. He's a genius (Gosh! I know I sound like every other person talking about him). He's also a wonderful person - simple, devout, and funny. He knows exactly what he needs. I knew 'Fanaa' would be a hit. In fact in that song, I do vocal bits over Rahman Sir's voice. I felt like I was gliding over a beautiful place. He lets you experiment and at the same time, knows how to get that 100 per cent out of you - even if it's at four in the morning.

I sing along to R&B, Soul and Hip-hop. But my influences are strongly R&B. I like Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Barbara Streisand - there are so many wonderful voices out there, I can't name them all. "


Not everybody would like her songs instantly but like all music, she grows on you too. I'm sure she's one of the best female vocalists around.

You might also like her other tracks:
EnnaiThedi - Jithan
Thoodu Varuma - Kakka Kakka
Ennai Pidikkum - Sathurangam
Ivanthan En - Kaadhal
I just hope she'd stop singing songs with weak lyrics like "Gori Tera"(from Saravana) or just plain weak songs like "Thottutae"(from Aaru).

But there's something about her raw untrained voice I can't really describe. I just love how high her voice can go, her hushed whispers, her seductive vocals.. they're so haunting! She's immensely talented and I'm sure she'll be appreciated in a really big way someday.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Fun(??) with Dick and Jane !

I managed to watch Fun with Dick and Jane on thiruttuVCD and I'm so glad I didn't spend a hundred bucks in a multiplex and another hundred on Popcorn and Pepsi(Since when did popcorn cost as much as the movie? I remember spending 5 bucks on popcorn and 40bucks for the balcony ticket. And whats with people munching on their popcorn loudly during a tense scene? Are you so caught up in the movie that you gotta eat big mouthfuls ? Did your popcorn suddenly start to taste a whole lot better? Pipe down, will you!) Now thats off my head, back to the review..


Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't think twice about watching a Carrey flick. I've been a big fan of his since Batman Forever.
Jim Carrey is versatile, he can be atrociously funny(Ace Ventura) or take on serious roles(Eternal Sunshine.., Man on the Moon) but sadly none of these traits are visible in Fun with Dick.



Fun with Dick and Jane is a pointless remake of the 1977 comedy of the same name.
The 2005 version is produced by Jim Carrey himself.
When they started out making this movie, did they at any point of time think they were making a comedy? You will at the most laugh 3 times during the entire 90mins.
This movie is supposed to be a take on Enron. Now thats huge potential for a number of comic situations and hilarious gags, but the director fails at every attempt. It is neither a witty satire of the scandal nor a slapstick comedy. (Its not a heartfelt drama either, needless to say). Lagging screenplay, loose ends, plotholes big enough to drive BMTC buses - its got it all. You can't even forgive all that by saying, "Its a comedy!". No, its not.

Fun with Dick & Jane is not worth your time or your money. The movie is a huge letdown. If you really must watch it for Jim Carrey, do rent it or download it.
The funniest scenes are on the trailers, so you've used up 2 of your 3 laughs already.

Verdict: Do not watch unless forced to at gunpoint.